My Annual Holiday Greetings

Happy Holidays to One & All,

Seems like every year around Halloween, I make plans for writing my annual Christmas letter on or about Thanksgiving; however, as Thanksgiving arrives, time magically leaps directly to Christmas. In other words, I get so busy with activities I can't find a moment to spare to sit and write my letter, or when the time presents itself, am too exhausted to focus & recall everything I did over the year. 2014 has not proven any different. A couple things will change this year: 1) I plan to use social media or electronic means to send my greeting, except to the VERY FEW key people in my lifetime who prefer to severely restrict or not even get involved with electronic communications; and 2) I'm hoping not to ramble on for 4-6 pages as in the past few years detailing my eventful year.

2014 has been equally or more eventful than in the recent past, but also provided me with a wild and emotional roller coaster ride, thanks to further issues and understanding of my autistic personality. I won't pursue long extemporaneous editorializing of my year as I'm often known for. Greater awareness has evolved as I become a “mature”, senior, high-functioning person with ASD. Much of this wild ride resulted from my anxiety disorder and ADHD.

Mankind and its perceived irrational and dysfunctional approach to living continues to cause daily frustrations and anxiety for me. I'm less judgmental after having gone through 18 months of DBT training that is targeted for individuals with borderline personality disorders. My deep spiritual approach to life also prevents me from being selectively judgmental; however, not being judgmental doesn't lessen the anger and frustration I experience daily; as NT's (neurotypical/non-autistic humans) refuse to obey and live by the very rules that dictate how society should act or perform. I like to tell it like this...I live with the mentality that what people do is either right or wrong, black or white. In my maturity, and the now 60 years I've experienced, I've learned to permit up to 8 shades of gray for compromise; however, non-ASD humans choose to make exceptions to EVERY rule in the book, and NEVER see things as black & white. You all live in a gray-scale society that is made up of anywhere from 128 to 512 shades of gray. Sorry, if this seems like a techie-type answer... Okay, that's all the soapbox wisdom I'm going to burden you with this year.

Last holiday was an over-committed and exhaustive, though memorable, end to my year, that happened to spill over into the new year. Anyone who knows &/or understands autism is aware we are basically social misfits or wallflowers. I guess the reason why it was so hard for people (who knew me well) to see me as a person with autism, is because I've always been active and outgoing, and trying to be a leader in many aspects of my life. I'll clue you in on a social interaction trick I've developed during my lifetime; even before I had a clue about what autism is. If invited to a social-type function or activity of any sort, I'd choose to ignore or refuse the invite and stay home/away if I had no idea what to expect; even if familiar with or knowing everyone attending. Therefore, I'd take the leadership role or serve on the planning committee that determined what would happen at the event. I'd arrive at the event knowing what to expect, usually who would be attending, AND if I wasn't in a particularly sociable mood during the event, could fill my time with directing or serving on the performance team keeping the event running smoothly. Often, being unable to trust that an event progresses just as promised or described (no surprises), has a lot to do with whether I participate or not.

Any way, last year I planned a Harvest potluck, Thanksgiving potluck, 2-day holiday craft sale, Christmas Party, and Christmas Potluck for the residents at the Lafayette Affinity retirement community where I lived. I refused to plan and DID NOT attend the New Year's Eve party...I was burned out. Because I had discussed the idea of a Chili Cook-off around Super Bowl time, I was reminded, and felt obligated to organize this event and invite Lafayette Fire Department, as suggested, to be the judges. Everyone KNEW who Michele Newman was, but being such an active community volunteer leader left me NO PERSONAL TIME to do things that gave me personal enjoyment, or go through the over 60 boxes of loose papers that needed to be sorted and purged from storage and my small apartment.

People came to expect me to automatically step in and produce an event/activity that everyone enjoyed. My lease at the Affinity was up for renewal the end of April this year. Unlike most residents, I was able to get into the Lafayette housing bond program at Affinity. Even though I'd have to qualify for the program, based on income every year, my rent was not to be increased this year with a new lease. Losing my daytime RTD, ADA, door-2-door ridership privileges last year prevented me from continuing major volunteer participation down in Denver. My transportation options were extremely restrictive and limited on weekends, both geographically and time-wise. Realizing I had bitten off more than I could chew in demonstrating planning and leadership abilities with the residents and management at Affinity, but more so my transportation limitations, I decided to search elsewhere to live, yet still remain in or near the Broomfield/Boulder County area of metro Denver.

I did achieve a major social accomplishment as a result of being so involved at Affinity and in a community that had people I felt I could “trust”. Some of my friends decided to organize a “going away” potluck for me, inviting ALL the residents. As a rule, I hate being the center of attention at any social gathering. Normally, I would have said I had no time or was unavailable; however, I agreed to attend. The fact that I actually showed up without insisting on knowing all the details of the event or who was going to attend. My attendance proved to be a sort of social graduation of sorts. A BIG DEAL for me!

I had located a brand new community just on the north side of the Broomfield Park-n-Ride. A perfect place to easily connect with the metro area using public transportation. I visited this community on 3 separate occasions, speaking with the same leasing agent and planned my move to a specific apartment once its building was released for occupancy. I disclosed, upon my 1^st visit, that my main source of income was SSDI. I even measured and created a floorplan to be sure all my “stuff” would fit. Not once did the leasing agent inform me they required 2.5 times as the income to rent ratio. This apartment went for $1325 (but I was paying $1510 at Affinity). Needless to say, I didn't qualify but had already given notice to Affinity that I'd be moving, before I learned this. A desperate panic overcame me to locate another apt. on or near daily, public, transportation services.

Boulder was too expensive, so I looked north to Longmont (15-20 min due north of Lafayette). Even though I shouldn't have financially qualified for an apartment, I ended up moving to the Longmont Regent, a full-service (including 3 meals) independent Holiday chain retirement community. I talked to my retirement adviser, and plan was to begin an early withdrawal of my LT retirement annuity in July, after turning 59-1/2. That fell through, and by summer was faced with severe financial issues.

Besides planning a move to another town in less than 30 days, I unexpectedly lost my mother (who lived in California) in the middle of preparing for the move, on Palm Sunday. I remember only one or 2 times in my entire life that I made a household move in 30 days or less. I hadn't downsized as much as I had hoped, yet was moving into a 100 sq.ft. smaller apartment than what I had in Lafayette.

All the stressors of coordinating the move and losing my mother, caught up with me real fast, causing 3 ER visits during the month of May; another financial setback. However, it was a trip to the ER on August 15^th, which was “the straw that broke the camel's back”. Personal healthcare issues are my all-time, greatest anxiety-producer. I had reached the end of my rope as a result of the events in the middle of the night and neglectful treatment I received by emergency department staff. I no longer wanted ANYTHING to do with the inconsiderate and insensitive behavior of society in general. I struggled for a week trying to think of why I should not make an early exit. After numerous prayers and outcries to my Lord, a chain of events presented themselves to me on August 21^st, giving me new purpose and a reason to stick around a little longer. My prayers were answered. Since I had strong, deliberate ideas around the evil, materialism, & violence plaguing mankind, I felt directed to go on a Hunger Strike for God against the vise grip Satan had on mankind. Besides going on the Hunger Strike, I went “cold turkey” off ALL medications.

I went 32 hours before learning I MUST drink water/liquids to survive more than just a few days on a hunger strike. I lived off broth, gelatin, Powerade and juices during God's Hunger Strike, which lasted 50-days before adding solid food to my diet. In the time I was on the Hunger Strike, my thoughts, focus, productivity AND health became the best I'd had in MANY years. I even lost 20 pounds and as many inches in those 6 weeks. I was relaxed, at peace, and felt little to no stress in the first 30-days; however, the reality of pending homelessness due to my financial income/resource dilemma soon set in. I, personally, was not concerned about living on the street, since I'd been homeless twice since 2006. My concern was being homeless with my 2 therapy/companion cats. What would happen to them? They weren't dogs like most homeless people with pets might have.

Besides, Pooky had developed what I thought was a cyst on one of her mammary glands. She had it removed right after my last move, on Oct. 7^th. Needless to say, it turned out to be a severely, malignant tumor. She recovered surprisingly well, considering she's 11 years old and was mostly feral 9 of her 11 years. Unfortunately, she goes back to the vet Christmas Eve, as it appears the tumor has grown back. I don't know what I'll do when time comes to put her down. It took 13 years to be able to accept another pet in my life, after having to put my Yorkshire Terrier of 11 years to sleep.

Facebook friends were trying to offer up support and suggestions. I just prayed for guidance and held onto faith that the Lord would take care of me so long as I continued to serve the Lord's request with the Hunger Strike. I never was very social media savvy, except for a little Facebook now and then; however, suddenly and miraculously, I became social media savvy, especially on Twitter. When I started the Hunger Strike, I had 40 followers. I now have 2 separate Twitter accounts; one dedicated to the Hunger Strike (@H_Strike4God) with more of a faith-based context to it, and my original account (@SpecialSavant), which speaks more to my Savant Syndrome and having Autism. I have 141 followers and 269 tweets attached to the Strike account, and 220 followers and 787 tweets on my primary account. My LinkedIn connections have exploded. A year ago, I might have had 50-75 connections, and today, I have 1089! It was like I magically became an advanced social media user without formal study or training. I'd be a guru by now, had I more time to dedicate to this form of reaching out and connecting with the world. It's like I observe something and then JUST KNOW how to achieve results. I've even recorded & posted 3 YouTube videos since July, with more in the works.

Because of my trust and faith in the Lord, I was able to transfer within the Longmont Regent community from a 1-bedroom to a large studio apartment for almost a $300 reduction in rent, to below market rate. I know this was one of many Divine Interventions this year. After searching and applying for PT work over 3 months, magically landed a telecommute job on Craigslist that was perfect for me and added $400/mo in income; however, in 6 short weeks, I learned I was victimized by a scam. I was “Employed” by an overseas Nigerian money laundering enterprise; even though the guy gave me a name and address of someone living in Reno, NV, email and US phone/IM accounts/numbers. I suspected something wasn't right early on, but wanted to give this guy the benefit of the doubt. By the time I ended my employment, I had been party to unknowingly writing several hundred thousand dollars in counterfeit checks. When this guy's work requests & demands became more & more suspicious, I didn't hesitate calling the FBI, filing an IC3 complaint, reporting it to the Secret Service, State Attorney General, and Longmont PD. I've since blogged about this experience trying to warn other innocent people not to allow themselves to become victimized. Because he lives in Nigeria, law enforcement informed me that best agency to handle the case would be the Postmaster General, since this involved international postal fraud. Believe it or not, I even believe the Lord had a purpose in my obtaining this job.

Luckily, just before ending that work relationship, I got hired to work PT at the smaller Walgreens store located half a block from my home. (It took only 2-1/2 months after I applied and aced the retail assessment for them to call me for an interview.) Because my body no longer possesses the physical stamina it had 18 years ago when I worked for Computer City, as a supervisor, I'm only working three 5-hour shifts per week at the store, and had to request special accommodations. Having 2 knee replacements and a deteriorating spine with a stimulator implant to control the pain has a big impact on what I can and can't do, and for how long. Surprisingly, despite 3 absences (back problem & flu since starting the end of October), I received a 75 center raise after only 30 days. Problem is, my autism mentality causes me to FORGET what my body can & can't do once I get focused on a task or work that needs to be done, because other employees refuse to perform certain tasks. I've had this problem saying “NO” for over 50 years, when I see something that needs to be done and asked or know that no one else is going to do it, I jump right in, as a team player, without considering how my actions will physically affect me.

I did find an integrative medicine, osteopathic surgeon to be my new PCP, who was willing to monitor my health while on the Hunger Strike. Blood work and tests all came back remarkably normal when consuming only the liquid diet; however, I was having problems with my blood pressure. The trip to the ER on Aug. 15 was due to concern about a possible brain aneurysm. When paramedics came at 3:30 in the morning, my blood pressure was measured at 258/135; the highest ever for me. The diastolic number then remained over 100 for nearly 2 months, before I finally agreed to go back on a low dose of B/P medicine. Since the first of October, when I began conservatively consuming solid food again, my abdominal pain & GI probs returned. Last week, I met with my PCP's nutritionist, who seriously feels my best move is to go gluten and dairy free (even tho I briefly tried this type of diet for 3 weeks before moving to Longmont, with no change in symptoms). If I take this advice, it will mean another move in the foreseeable future, since the Holiday communities DO NOT offer a gluten free menu option with their food service. Am on the waiting list at a smaller retirement community about 6 blocks away. Each apartment has a full kitchen. Guess I'll have to let them know I want back on the “active” wait list.

Last year I FINALLY learned I had a lifelong malabsorption problem. It took forever to find a GI doctor who diagnosed and treated this kind of problem AND took Medicare. Problem is, our personalities clashed and he only wanted to treat the problem with expensive prescriptions, which didn't work or made me feel worse. This year, I finally got referred to an immunologist because of repeated sinus and middle ear infections in the past decade. After 28 vials of blood being drawn at my first appointment, I learned I have a (genetic) primary immune deficiency and IgG subclass 2 deficiency.

My protection against pneumonia bacterial strains is severely low. I got an adult pneumonia vaccine in Nov. 2004, but was instructed to get a repeat vaccine this past April. After 1 mo, immunity was somewhat improved, but blood work after 6 months showed another severe decline in protection, so was directed to obtain a Prevnar 13 vaccine this past week, then get another pneumovax next March. I was worried before I got the test results a few weeks ago when I came down with the flu and temperature of 102-103 that lasted 24-hours. It started with my annual fall attack of bronchitis. Getting started on a nebulizer treatment and then an Rx of Tamiflu prevented the flu from turning into pneumonia. Am slowly getting back to normal, but still experiencing lots of fatigue. Am sure my brother had this same immune problem. He generally dealt with an episode of pneumonia every 12-18 months since he was 40 or so.

DARN. I've rambled on far more than anticipated. Better wrap this up. Most of my lengthy bus rides to Denver for activities are associated with autism advocacy: serving on CO-CANDO and subcommittees; helping JFK develop their professional webinar training program regarding adult ASD diagnosis & co-morbidities; attend GRASP support meetings; and meetings and activities as a Board member for the Autism Society of Colorado (ASC). I was selected this summer to be a “Self-Advocate Partner” with the Autistic Global Initiative (AGI), which is funded by the Autism Research Institute in San Diego. I started attending a monthly 30+ support group for adults with high-functioning autism held at the Temple Grandin School in Boulder. I'm also ASC's co-chair to help the Autism Society of America in planning it's 2015 national conference to be held in Denver next July.

Since RTD public transportation has been a major frustration and stressor (causing most of my anxiety attacks); I've had to learn to teleconference in to many meetings the 2^nd half of this year. Having trust issues, talking to voices thru a mechanical device, holds major trust issues for me. A lot of trust comes from visual body language. Sometimes phone connections can be poor, but I've learned to digitally record those and all other formal meetings and appointments, since communicative misunderstandings tend to be another of my major deficits/issues.

Even though I moved twice this year (each time in less than 30 days), and often spent 6-7 hours commuting for a 2- to 4-hour meeting, I found time to do quite a bit of personal art and crafts. I don't have a craft room at the Regent, which allows me to keep my large painting easel set up with in-progress paintings; however, the management has agreed to allow me to keep my easel and work set up in the community library on the first floor. (It has served as a prospective resident marketing tool.) The 1^st apartment I lived in was right next to the library, making working on paintings a no-brainer; however, when I moved apartments the first of October, I remained on the first floor, but at the opposite end of the building from the library. I spent my 1^st 3 hours, since my move, working on an oil painting just yesterday. I did complete 2 acrylic portraits in either the Activity Room (has a sink) or my new apartment. Tho my new apartment is smaller and only a studio, I actually have a much friendlier floorplan. It allows me to have my sewing machine always set up, place to paint/do arts & crafts AND have enough space around my computer equipment. It doesn't feel like the claustrophobic closet that my 1-bedroom apt. felt like.

Am hoping to join the Longmont Council on the Arts after the first of the year to be able to display (& maybe sell) or exhibit my work to obtain some public awareness of my talents. Have found a couple places in Longmont & Boulder to possibly market my sewing, arts & crafts and artwork to generate a little income. Also started a Facebook group specifically designed for individuals with ASD to display and possibly sell some of their handiwork. The location is https://www.facebook.com/groups/Creativity.in.Autism. I'm also one of the administrative moderators for the Autism Society of Colorado adult group on Facebook at this location: https://www.facebook.com/groups/812920132104307.

As mentioned earlier, another move may be forthcoming in the next 3-6 months, so if wanting to connect with me, you can always email me at special.savant@gmail.com to catch up with me. I'm going to end the formal discussion of my year here, so I can include some pictures of me, Buddy, Pooky & some of my art completed this year, as a little self-promotion of the person I have matured into following my rebirth in 2005.

Hope you all have a great holiday this year, and spend a little time reflecting on the true meaning of Christmas and its celebration. I also want to wish you the best in the coming New Year.

                                                God Bless! Michele, Pooky & Buddy Newman

 

"In Progress" drawing to accompany "7 Angels to the 7 Churches" (Book of Revelation)

Poster I painted in 2013 that was purchased by BeauJo's in 2014 & hanging in Denver restaurant

Buddy, my full-tailed (fat) Manx, laid back on the loveseat

Acrylic portrait I painted of Corry Robinson, JFK Partners;

2014 Autism Soiciey of Colorado Gala Honoree

Newborn bibs and toys I sew and sell

ID badge holder I sewed for Board members to wear @ 2014 ASC fundraising Gala

Final, custom 24x36 family oil portrait presented to 2013 ASC Gala auction winner

John Denver pencil drawing done from photo I took at his Red Rocks concert (1978 or 79)

Children's neck pillow animals I sew (& sell). Do 3 other animals

Me and Dr. Jill Biden following 2014 volunteer Democratic campaign rally in Longmont, CO

16x20 acrylic painting commissioned by Facebook friend

Pooky. My formerly feral, never-to-be lap cat relaxed on my lap

Large stuffed frog sewn for and purchased by friend to give as a baby shower gift

Display for the 2014 ASC Gala where I donated another custom family portrait for the fundraiser. This is an "in progress" wedding portrait for a long-time friend who got married this year.

Nigerian Money Scams: PERFECT Example of Man's Evil Behavior

In August 2014, I became totally disenchanted & untrusting of humanity, and people who assume roles to “Serve Others”. That may be the definition of the job that employs them; however, many, if not most, of these “service” providers no longer (or never did) have their hearts into the work they do. As I've written before, mankind has been infiltrated by Satan's ways and evil by assuming the “ME” mentality: “I seek to fulfill MY personal needs and agendas, FIRST, and if I have time or energy left, MIGHT be willing to consider helping my fellow man who needs my expertise or support.”

This constant behavior by my fellow man became so unforgiving that I seriously contemplated suicide in August, because I could not be a part of a society that thought and behaved this way. I'd rather go home to my heavenly Father, whom I KNOW listens, loves, and cares about me. He has been the ONLY available entity that I could constantly pour my heart out to because of the frustrations due to living in a sea of dysfunction, insincerity, & irrationality. Seemed like the harder I tried to follow mans' rules, and just be “accepted” for ME, and what I've been blessed with to share, unconditionally, the greater rejection and trouble I encountered. Human beings love to “play God” and make countless rules to control other's lives and everything on the planet, but see themselves as above the law, unwilling to follow the very rules they create.

Instead of taking my life, God showed me the way to an alternative protest for all the dysfunction around me. Thus, the Hunger Strike I began on August 21^st. I was able to stick with this Striking fast of liquids and gelatin for just a little over 45 days; however, unlike most Hunger Striking protesters, I'm not incarcerated nor lead a sedentary, simple life. Also, they are usually protesting environmental conditions in a localized setting. My protest was global, and against ALL evil & hatred possessed by man (>75% of global population). This act lifted most of the stress weighing down my shoulders. I totally allowed God to take direction of my life. I became accepting of any and all encounters in my daily life/routine, because I saw it as His will and direction. This worked for about 25-30 days, until I allowed human kind to be a greater influence on my thoughts and actions than God, who gave me a way and reason to not give up, just yet.

By early September, I was seriously looking towards homelessness. Sure, many “friends” and people around me expressed deep(?) concern over this potential outcome of my financial situation. A few went out of their way to help find a way to keep that from happening. What they didn't realize or understand was that I am a survivor who has experienced homelessness twice in the last 10 years. I held NO FEAR about the future, should I actually become homeless, but was more concerned about the welfare of my 2 therapy, companion cats, and their well-being/care should I end up homeless. I didn't have a pet, let alone 2, during my prior homelessness. They ARE my only close family. Until God's direction presented itself to me, it was ONLY concern for Pooky and Buddy who kept me from taking my life before the 21^st.

I obtained a telecommute job via Boulder Craigslist on Sept. 8, 2014, from a guy ID'd as Brent Hills out of Reno, NV, to type "Payroll Checks" from home. He had me download ezCheck software, and trained me to use it via “email & text messaging”. He emailed me ALL the checking account info, along with names, addresses, even some phone numbers, for the individuals I was to “write” checks for. Friends whom I told about this job immediately warned me about it being a scam, as so much of those who now use Craigslist are crooks and scammers. Its innocence & original intent has been lost, for the most part, as “free enterprise” entices and breeds evil because of that original innocence. It's these innocent opportunities, which create the perfect pool of victims for wicked, evil doers.

In my lifetime, I had tried my hand at various freelance (pyramid-type) marketing enterprises; however, my social ineptness, as an Aspie, prevented me from having much success. You must be a social dynamo to really succeed. This is NOT inbred or natural behavior for a person with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. I even tried mimicking those I saw as successful. Aspies are great at mimicking what we observe, but that kind of behavior is difficult to assume full-time for any extended period. It becomes too physically demanding on our entire being. I figured I was writing quarterly bonus checks to a person's down-line group. Many of these up-line salespeople operate as a business, and their down-line can live all over the country, or world. The bigger organizations like Amway and Xango send out all member bonus rewards, so figured these were smaller freelance businesses I wasn't familiar with.

I'm getting distracted here. Any way, I tried to be optimistic, and give (Brent) the benefit of the doubt about the job responsibilities I was given. I was told this job would encompass one day a week (Sunday) to do the checks, which would be mailed Monday morning. It would pay $400/mo ($200 every other week), and reimburse me for any out-of-pocket expenses. I was told I'd be paid via MoneyGram or Western Union. As my sister told me, desperate people do desperate things. I saw this job as a Godsend and way to avoid homelessness, because the legitimate job applications I submitted, locally, generated no contacts, interviews, nor offers. I had been looking for work since July when financing by an early draw start on my retirement pension was refused (though informed that it could occur once I turned 59-1/2). I moved to the retirement community I now live in back in April based on this (unconfirmed) promise made by my financial adviser. I “trusted” them to know what they were telling me. Besides, I was trying to pack and plan a move in less than 30 days, and had my mother, in California, suddenly pass away in this middle of my moving. Besides, I had way too much to worry about in solely preparing for my move, than try to contact my annuity company to verify what I was told.

Back to the illegitimate job... Only 2 of the lists I wrote checks for, came to me on Sunday. This became a major frustration and inconvenience. I took the job specifically because time wouldn't be required of me except primarily on Sunday. However, like any “good” employee, I put my energies into performing the job when and as asked, once we collaborated on a basic scheduling agreement. I was just thankful to have a job that gave me flexibility and an extra income to get caught up with current/recent debts. I had been trying for two months+ to sell some of my art and craft sewing. Heck, I didn't even have the $35-40 to spare to join the Longmont Art community, which would have given me an opportunity to publicly display my art and possibly sell something.

The first caution (yellow) flag went up after 2 weeks, when I got paid for the first time. I got a wire transfer on pay day as promised, but wasn't reimbursed for all the start-up expenses (purchase of blank, secure check paper & full sheet, printer, mailing labels). I was reimbursed only half of my expenses, which I had to spend for the job and not pay HMO health premium that month, making me now 3 months behind with my Medicare HMO. That wasn't what really raised the flag, though. It was the fact that the wire transfer did not come from a business or even (Brent Hills), in Reno, NV. It was wired by a woman on other side of the U.S. in Hartwell, GA! Figured, she was probably one of his clients (little did I know). That flag came down when next pay check was wired from same person.

Caution flag went back up when (Brent) refused to give me adequate explanation as to why I was not being expected to sign a bank account signature card on the accounts I was (hand) writing the checks off of. I've had several businesses of my own and was treasurer for 5 years for a non-profit. Each and EVERY account I wrote checks on REQUIRED signature cards on record for all the signers on the account(s). Until the last batch of checks I was requested to write, NEVER was the same company, account or bank used. A second yellow flag went up the pole after about 3 weeks and writing about 100 checks. ALL those voucher checks (except 2 or 3 out of 100) ended in even $100 or $50 amounts, and ranged between $900 and $3950. I considered this quite “odd” that the dollar amounts didn't have cents or a variety of different, odd dollar amounts. I was never asked to do a funds voucher breakdown or show taxes. The apportionment of funds was more questioning than income taxes, because these kinds of independent salespeople are responsible for reporting their own income and making estimated payments to the IRS.

The first RED flag was raised AND an alarm went off 4 weeks into the job when he asked if I'd like to make some extra money. He found me “intelligent and trustworthy”. I could make a fast $50, cash, for every wire transfer I took receipt of then turned around and wired to another person in Nigeria. As mentioned in the beginning, I was desperate, even though my suspicions went over the top. I told him I'd heard about Nigerian money scams and didn't want to have any part if that's what this was... Of course, he reassured me this was nothing like that. Figured I feel him out and even lead him along to see what this was really all about. I've been a member of InfraGard and gone through CERT (Community Emergency Response Team) anti-terrorism training, so have heard about many of the (Nigerian) scams making the rounds out there, some even tried to lure me in, but I didn't take the bait to send my hard earned money. This one caught me off guard by involving me as an employee (participatory member) with those doing the scamming. I played along to obtain a complete understanding of the process, and didn't have to think twice about going to the legal authorities if it turned out to be internationals scamming American citizens.

Info I have about Brent Hills is: 14855 Pyramid Hwy, Reno, NV 89510; phone (321)222-0075, mobile phone is (775) 476-8310; Email = helpdneedy456@gmail.com & Yahoo IM = indyman445. Not really sure of his physical location from information given. I NEVER even spoke to him on the phone, and said he was too busy to even Skype. I did receive LOTS of (annoying) texts, calls, email & IM from numbers & online addresses above. My suspicion is that this is all stolen information, and phones are spoofed, and this guy identifying himself as (Brent Hills), actually lives in Lagos or Ibadan, Nigeria, since this is where I was instructed to wire the funds. His name isn't even (Brent Hills) or “John Newman”, the name he gave me to use for the Nigerian wire transfers, since another (first) name he gave me was flagged as “suspect” by Western Union. As it turns out, the funds wired to me came from individuals whom I wrote counterfeit checks to, who followed the directions of the deceitful scammer requesting them to wire some of those funds to me (another U.S. Citizen living in the country), who then, unsuspectingly to them, wired their money to Nigeria.

Long story short, I took this job out of desperation, as a 59 y.o. Autistic Savant on SSDI, who was facing eviction and homelessness prior to getting the job. I pray my comprehensive record keeping and surrender to authorities will keep me out of prison, cuz it's MY signature on over $693,000 in counterfeit checks. I have also retained EVERY text message sent to my smartfone and IM's received via Yahoo messaging that can be made available to authorities, if needed. My concern is, (Brent) has a digital image of my signature AND current driver's license (though it expires in December 2014), and address on my MVR is void (since I moved several times since 2006 & not yet changed with DMV).

I have reported this scam to the FBI, Secret Service, District Attorney, Colorado Attorney General's office, Longmont PD, and filed IC3 and FTC tip/complaint forms. Since he lives in Nigeria, about the only way to pursue him is via international postal fraud. Even though all the checks were mailed by me in Longmont, CO, and sent only to U.S. addresses, the “employer” was located outside of the U.S. He gave me my instructions, including the list of recipients, and HE emailed me the priority mail postage, fraudulently purchased by him, from his location in Nigeria; committing “International Mail Fraud”.

What irks me is that I was contacted during this 6 weeks by another international scam, by people saying I was selected to receive a U.S. Federal Grant (free money) because I regularly filed my tax returns and paid my bills. This immediately screamed SCAM, because I still owe the IRS the last 3 years of tax returns and have debts going back to 2005, along with not being current with some medical bills, my premiums, and behind on my Verizon account.

None of the money in these transactions is mine nor attached to my own personal accounts. I have been paid/reimbursed for any earnings and out-of-pocket expenses to date, via cash (thank goodness), but was harassed by (Brent's) persistence in trying to contact me since failing to mail the last batch of checks. I was informed about the kinds of threats these scammers have used to try to get any outstanding money they feel owed or convince (scare) someone to keep working for them. Most importantly, when I realized he lives 18 hours and a continent away, all intimidation was removed. Besides, my credit is in the toilet, already, so identity theft to gain credit would be of little help. However, him having a copy of my driver's license could allow him to take my info to use as a new identity for the next unsuspecting victim who falls prey to his scam.

Losing this $400/mo. is a real hardship for me, but I did start a legit job @ Walgreen's just the end of October; however, I've already had to request special scheduling accommodations, which prevent working the needed hours to replace the lost $400. I've not worked retail since 1996. This was before the physical deterioration of my body, aging 20 years, plus two knee replacements and disintegrating spine housing a spinal column stimulator implant. I can't stand, move and lift things for the long periods, required, which I was able to do at age 40. Verizon suspended my service once, already, then didn't follow my authorization, correctly, for payment on the account (tried debiting my account 2 times, with first being 10 days before authorized). Don't get me started on the idiocy possessed by service companies who refuse to adequately train AND hire the proper staff to interface with their customers!!! That will be covered in another, separate blog post.

Joel Osteen's message, this morning, mentioned that to receive God's mercy and glory, you must experience valleys of darkness along your life's journey. These make you stronger, create character, and appreciation for the promises of goodness and life everlasting God makes available to every living human. Problem is, too many give up too soon, don't have the faith and trust that God will see you through these dark times. I know, I've been there until God plucked me from actual death, proving He had a greater purpose for me and my life's mission. Believe me, when I tell people my life's story, they are amazed about how much “crap” I've been hit with, yet still come out a survivor trying to bring a positive influence to humanity. Even though I didn't learn about my autism for over 50 years, it became the hard, emotionless, outer shell that protected me from loss and all the wickedness surrounding me earlier in life.

God is GREAT! I feel even this negative victimization by this Nigerian money laundering scam gave me the kind of dedicated and detailed information to use as a “real life” example about all the evil and wicked behavior infiltrating the globe. Funny thing is, the guy who is responsible for this scam, professes to believe in God and (follow?) Jesus' teachings. Just accepting and believing in God and the gentile Savior, Jesus, is not your ticket to everlasting life. You must exert considerable effort in your daily living to “LIVE” by the teachings and rules Jesus gave us to become truly saved. The “IN” thing amongst human kind is to say you're a Christian, believe in God, and pray (for others). Problem is, >90% of these people DO NOT “walk the talk”. You're still a “lost soul” until your HEART (not head) performs the deeds your mouth speaks.

WAKE UP WORLD!!! God is trying to express His frustrations, discontent, & anger with mankind's behavior. Case in point is all the “natural disasters/events” occurring over the last 18 months (floods, droughts, volcanoes, earthquakes, other climatic events/changes, and pestilence [Ebola & U.S. childhood respiratory influenza]) than during any other such “continuous” period in the past 1000 years. Just this past year, Nelson Mandela, one of the angels spoken of in the Book of Revelation went home to the Creator and sounded the 5^th trumpet; the antichrist is amongst us NOW, priming his flock and receiving directions from Satan. Odds are, he is not planning or expecting to become the antichrist, but has been marked by Satan to become the leader of the new world order, leading us into the Tribulation, which will begin when the 6^th angel (2 remain alive today) dies and blows their trumpet. A small tip, from God, about the antichrist (& prophecy)...he will NOT be Muslim, Jewish or Islamic, but a prominent, leader of billions of Christians around the globe.

I am not anticipating that the U.S. Justice system will be able to do much to capture the perpetrator in my scam, and that's why I am coming forth and telling the world about by experience. Since (Brent), finally, determined I was uninterested in continuing to work in his scam (& I confronted him with the info I KNEW he was scamming & victimizing others), I'm sure he has reposted my position, on Craigslist, for another desperate job seeker to fall prey to. Be overly cautious about ALL telecommuting jobs posted on Craigslist; especially, if offerer is unwilling to have any kind of visual or telephone conversation with you!

I'm asking you (especially needy and vulnerable Americans) to NOT live with $dollar$ signs clouding your intelligence. You DON'T have to feel stupid or embarrassed to refuse any unsolicited offer presented to you for (unearned) financial gain from total strangers. ALWAYS verify any financial solicitations received by phone or mail before agreeing to anything, especially if you receive an unsolicited check in the mail; someone contacts you saying it was a mistake; and they want you to wire “some” of the money back (allowing you to keep the rest once you've deposited [the counterfeit check] in the bank “for your trouble”).

I am making myself available to speak or write about this experience to anyone interested and willing to listen. I was duped, out of desperation, and know thousands of others have been victimized as a result of the counterfeit checks I unknowingly wrote to you. My heartfelt apologies. I certainly don't have the money to repay your loss or compensate for your heartache. My intent was never to take a job that would hurt or victimize another human being; and my guilt over the desperation that caused me to be victimized as an active participant in this scam has scarred me; however, I've accepted it as one of those dark valleys in my life, and want to rise above it by turning it into a positive that will inform and, hopefully, prevent others from becoming new or repeat victims. Evil is rampant all around us, please don't allow it to consume YOU!

The Seven Churches in the Book of Revelation Revealed

By Michele M. Newman

To be perfectly clear, I do NOT profess to be a prophet of any kind; however, I do believe the Lord has blessed me with a special visionary gift, as a prophetess, to interpret the words of the Biblical prophets and scriptures in a “New Light”. Isaiah 48:6-8 – “⁶...From this time forth I make you hear new things, hidden things which you have not known. ⁷They are created now, not long ago; before today you have never heard of them, lest you say, 'Behold, I knew them.' ⁸You have never heard, you have never known, from of old your ear has not been opened. For I knew that you would deal very treacherously...”

I say I was blessed with this gift because it was only at age 51 the Lord made it known to me and others that I was blessed as a Savant with high-functioning Autism. This happened only after I lost hope in all humanity and its cruelty towards one another in lieu of personal wickedness and desires. I could no longer bear the irrational dysfunction of society, so committed suicide. I took a lethal prescription overdose and experienced paralysis on my bed as I consumed my last breaths of life. Miraculously, I awoke the next morning on my bed. The next 12 months consisted of a major spiritual awakening within myself, along with severe personal suffering and trials with self, and through those whom I placed trust. Only after ending up on life support following 2 more failed suicide attempts, and God's intervention, did I accept the fact that the Lord was not finished with me on this earth. He had a greater plan for me. Since 2006, I've known this plan involved providing mankind with new insights to the scriptures, but had severe feelings of incompetence towards this task. Only through a deeper spiritual growth, understanding of the scriptures, support from other committed Christian peers, and lots of prayers, have I finally gained the courage to assume the task the Lord has placed upon me.

I am not a theologian, nor have a degree in religious studies. I am a spiritually committed lay Christian, who has been guided, unknowingly, by the Holy Spirit, in my heart since I was a toddler. Despite being different, a loner, because of my undiagnosed autism, I always had a survivor drive and mentality that came from deep within me. I NEVER felt alone in the nearly a half century of little to no social life and exposure, or limited pool of individuals I could consider close friends. I always had an inner comfort and warmth from deep inside my heart, which seemed to always bestow the necessary knowledge and wisdom to survive and endure all the good and bad that I experienced during my lifetime. I never quite understood it, but thought everyone was made and felt this way. That is, until my awakening during my rebirth and salvation, when it became clear it was the Holy Spirit residing within my heart and guiding me my entire life.

This was true commitment and investment that God, my true Father, and Christ, my Savior, has had in making me the person I am. They didn't give up on me when I had been so angered by humanity's dysfunction and cruelty, that I chose to give up on society and life. My whole life has been about serving others, because I somehow felt inferior due to my differences; however, because of my autism and the righteous life of integrity I have tried to live by, the Lord is rewarding (or cursing) me with a very arduous task of warning mankind about its pending doom in the VERY NEAR FUTURE. The state of the world's affairs and God's anger with mankind, along with the knowledge that the true Antichrist is now amongst us and preparing his plan for power, makes deliverance of this and other messages critical.

I have been given the gift to write fairly well; however, my interpretations of the scriptures and prophecy are not mine, alone. If I wanted to just write anything or interpret the scriptures on an intellectual level, I would have begun this assignment back in 2006-07; however, I prayed about my incompetence in complete knowledge of the Word. Heck, I've not even read the entire Bible (though I started January 2011, but became stalled in April 2013, while reading the prophesies of Isaiah and End Days). The words and interpretations I present here are guided by the wisdom of the Spirit who has guided my life since October 1955. Thus, I begin the Lord's New Message to mankind. As always, you have Free Will to accept or reject what the Lord has asked me to divulge or explain to you in these final days leading up to the nearing Tribulation. Those who heed the Lord's messages and act upon them will be rewarded. Those who choose to ignore what He has to say to mankind, well, you have chosen your destiny and will be judged and sentenced along with Satan, the Antichrist.

The seven churches that are spoken of in the Book of Revelation were considered to be “centers of communication” for the people of the “Living God”: Jesus Christ is head of this church. The church consists of gentiles who profess to know and/or believe in Jesus Christ. Gentiles are defined as every human who lived and walked this earth, but is not directly related to or descendant from one of the 12 Tribes of Israel (Jewish faith). The Jewish church is called a synagogue; Israel (Jews) are God's chosen and will have different trials/judgment during and after the Tribulation. Even though Jesus Christ died on the cross to nullify the sins of all man, to receive this gift of grace and redemption, you must PERSONALLY ask Christ to rid you of past sins, ask Him into your heart as your Lord AND Savior, then change your ways and get to know who Jesus Christ is, what He represents, then try to lead a righteous life dedicated to those principles.

Thus, if you are a Gentile, you belong to one of the seven churches described below. Only two of the seven churches currently have an open invitation to life everlasting. The faithful Christians and believers in Jesus Christ, and individuals who have decided to live the kind of righteous life God expects from His children, as taught by Jesus Christ through His chosen New Testament Disciple to the Gentiles, Paul. The remaining five, must refine your attitudes and foundational beliefs before the end of Tribulation (End Days) and the Second Coming (Advent) of Christ. Time is of the essence. We are not talking about the end of this century, but before Mid-Century; sometime between 2024 & 2054.

As with the interpretation of the Holy scriptures, I didn't just arbitrarily pull seven names out of a hat when I defined the Seven Angels assigned to each of the seven churches. Five of them were named in a 4-hour Epiphany I gave laying on a mattress on the floor in a psych ward (following my lethal suicide attempt), between midnight and 4 a.m. on December 22, 2005. They were not introduced as the angels at that time, but only recalled and assigned to their respective churches as I began to interpret the Book of Revelation. The two final angels were revealed to me during the following 18 months.

Read now, these words as presented to me through the Spirit in my heart, the description of the Seven Churches in the Book of Revelation; the seven centers/churches of communication created for the Gentiles who have lived since Christ:

CHURCH in EPHESUS: Revelation 2:1-6

Mother Theresa = Angel to Church in Ephesus

You are “Born Again” Christians or people who have at one time given their hearts and soul to God, truly believed; even learned to listen and act upon the wisdom of the Holy Spirit allowing It to dwell within your heart. However, personal or greater events occurred, which caused doubt or question in that faith; maybe even caused you to abandon your faith in the Lord.

Though you've always fought for good and righteousness, Satan must have exhibited greater power in too many experiences that directly affected you. This caused doubt in your faith and the true power of God over evil.

You've not given in to Satan or evil ways, but no longer have the energy or faith in God to save you. His promises of redemption and wrath against evil seem like an impossible fight and losing battle against a formidable opponent. Evil has overtaken humanity. A great Creator who lives only in a person's hopes and beliefs seems to have no chance against tangible enemies in the here and now.

Mother Theresa had doubts as to whether her tireless efforts were even making the least bit of difference in all the sickness, hunger & poverty she tried to fight. She questioned her faith a number of times, but continued to hold onto her true allegiance; to the promises of her Heavenly Creator, making her the chosen Angel for the Church in Ephesus.

The Lord is “still in you”! He has not forsaken you for becoming weary of your battles against Satan and his army of evil. You just need to repent for your “fallen” time and sins you may have committed. Clean out that space in your heart where the Spirit used to reside, and hold a Welcome Home party.

The Lord has not forgotten the great works you once did. He gets it, you are mortal, no super hero, but He needs you to know you can't save the world, but you can still save YOURSELF; maybe save others along the way, too. We are sanctioned to save those who “can” be saved, not fight evil or injustice; the Lord and His army of angels have that task to bear. It is written...

CHURCH in SMYRNA: Revelation 2:8-11

Nelson Mandela = Angel to Church in Smyrna

You, who are a part of the Church in Smyrna are the millions of people (Gentiles) who inhabit the earth who may have learned about Jesus Christ, who He is and represents. Even if you have no religious beliefs or indoctrination, but understand love for one another and try to live a righteous life advocating for humanity, seek to understand who God is and the love He had to sacrifice His only son to assume ALL the sins for mankind. Strive to live a life, which stays true to that love in your heart, without breaking any of the Lord's new covenants delivered through the 13th disciple, Paul.

Most likely, you live in poverty or struggle day-to-day due to persecution by others influenced by evil, exhibiting superiority, prejudices or other attributes of those humans possessed by evil. Despite all your hardships and struggles, you continue to hold onto some faith in goodness and possible redemption of the innocent.

DO NOT give into the evil ways of the majority, but seek out the knowledge and understanding of the Lord. Listen to your heart; for that is where the goodness of the Spirit resides. Continue to hold onto “inner” hope and faith that has driven you thus far. Goodness WILL prevail and evil receive its final judgment. Do this and you (your soul) will receive an open invitation to everlasting life during final judgment made during the End Days.

CHURCH in PERGAMUM: Revelation 2:12-17

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. = Angel to Church in Pergamum

You are the church of people who profess to be Christians and believe in God & Jesus Christ. You may even belong to one church and/or attend church with regularity. Usually, your presence is physical; however, your spiritual presence is missing. You are theologians, ministerial servants of God, and lay people.

You have all allowed yourself to be raped by materialistic greed, lust and other acts of immorality condemned by God. Your mouths try to speak of your love or the truths of being a Christian / Godly person. You may even exhibit righteousness, but your innermost thoughts and heart have been contaminated by benefits of worshiping false idols. Dr. King studied the peaceful way of conquering injustice; however, somewhere along the line, he was overwhelmed by the growth to his ego & power his accomplishments provided. He was chosen by God as this angel, for his accomplishments for the goodness of man, in general; however, to represent the kind of leaders who belong to this church.

You can still be saved. Repent of your sins and conquer the desire to worship false idols (ego, materialism, power, wealth), the Lord will bless you with satisfying fulfillment and life everlasting.

CHURCH in THYATIRA: Revelation 2:18-29

President Barack Obama = Angel to Church in Thyatira

JEZEBEL = National “Government” Systems

SERVANTS = Appointed & Elected Officials (who misinterpret justice or goodness for the majority as they worship (false gods) idols

Revelation 2:20 = Means Jezebel is teaching Servants to practice immorality by accepting bribes from the rich, large corporations, major industries or other world powers.

President Obama must heed these scriptures and search deep within his heart and soul, and not be carried off with the corrupted servants of Jezebel. Indeed, America may fall during (but most likely after) his presidency; so long as he can look inward to his early political and leadership days and find that soul possessing the “truth” and “hope” of the Spirit for the good of man that originally defined him. He must look back and inward and remember his faith and trust in God; the Lord will reward him with a different power after the earth has fallen into ruins.

Members of the church of Thyatira are Christians (and believers) who are also professionally engaged in large national / international for-profit or non-profit corporations, and hold decision or policy-making positions. If you have or once had the love and spirit of Christ in your heart, you need to make sure “false prophets” have not been able to tempt or lure you into worshiping their idols of greed, lust, wealth, materialism, or notoriety through power at the sacrifice of human lives and God's teachings.

Our Lord is a forgiving and merciful Lord. You can still save yourself before the Tribulation, but you must repent of your sins, ask forgiveness and stop worshiping those other idols and false gods. Be extra vigilant in these present days, as the Tribulation fast approaches. The true Antichrist is now amongst us. His administrative and persuasive abilities will be so overpowering that many from this church will easily be lured to follow his enticing promises for peace and unity.

You have the necessary skills and leadership that Christ values and can utilize as He rules ALL nations following the Tribulation. You can still have everlasting life and have a special place in God's plan during Christ's millennium.

CHURCH in SARDIS: Revelation 3:1-6

Pope John Paul II = Angel to Church in Sardis

You are the church of theologians who profess to teach about God, Jesus Christ, and Christianity; ordained or not – male or female – Jew or Gentile. This includes all denominations, inclusive, who teach and believe God is the Creator and Father of the Universe, and Jesus Christ, the Savior of mankind.

Many of you have the true Spirit of the Lord in your hearts and souls and have NEVER been tempted or strayed from your service. Continue to serve and live in Christ and Him in you, until the end, and you will certainly experience life everlasting.

Many have demonstrated imperfect work or behavior since clothing yourself in the service of the Lord. Remember, God knows and sees all. Remember the promises you made when you chose to serve. It is not too late to repent of your sinfulness, reawaken and escape the 2^nd death with everlasting life.

The rest of you are fence riders, neither awake nor dead. Conquer death now by choosing to fully awaken yourself fully to serve and live in love and righteousness of the Lord, and you will be guaranteed life everlasting.

CHURCH in PHILADELPHIA: Revelation 3:7-13

Mahatma Gandhi = Angel to Church in Philadelphia

You are the true and holy church. Gandhi understood the true Christian principles and was the closest human to live a pure “Life in Christ” since the days of the New Testament, thus gaining the honor of becoming the first earthbound angel that would blow his trumpet, initiating the beginning of the end, leading up to the Tribulation and End Days.

You're the faithful followers and believers in Christ who have accepted the grace and salvation offered to those who choose to study, understand, and try to live and love fellow man as Jesus Christ did. The Holy Spirit lives in your heart where you can always find peace, joy, comfort & wisdom to face whatever trials evil throws your way to test your faith.

You are God's human, earthbound warriors seeking opportunities to share God's love and be present-day lay disciples of Christ to bring love and understanding to the lost and downtrodden. You are tasked to show the lost that there is still hope for their future, pull them down off the fence, and introduce them to peace and the chance for life everlasting.

You serve in the trenches; often with the worst of the worst, but have found that true inner peace and joy that only the deeply faithful and committed believers possess. Hold onto that faith and never falter, no matter what you face, now or in the future. Always “listen” and feel with your heart, for you have already received an “open door” invitation to everlasting life. Many of the 144,000 (Rev. 14:1-5) will come from this church, as they are the ones who will spend the last 3-1/2 years during the Tribulation traveling the earth, speaking in tongues, to save as many lost or forgotten souls to learn about and accept Christ as their Savior.

CHURCH in LAODICEA: Revelation 3:14-22

Oprah Winfrey = Angel to Church in Laodicea

This is the largest of all the churches. You are the mass of people around the world who are considered “Lukewarm Christians”. You aren't on fire with the love of Christ in your heart, but have not totally abandoned Him and stepped out into the cold to join Satan's army. However, you are at the greatest risk of being deceived by the Antichrist and ending up in the trenches with Satan during the period of Tribulation.

Lukewarm Christians come from Christian families or seek Christianity as an adult. You've obtained just enough education about who God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, and Bible Old & New Testaments are to be comfortable at church or admitting you are a Christian. However, your education about what makes a Christian “saved” or allow someone to experience “life everlasting” is incomplete or corrupt.

You are under the impression that being “saved” or receiving the privilege of “everlasting life” (even the rapture – another misnomer) are EARNED by your actions or deeds; especially financial contributions to the church or other “worthy causes”. Actually, a homeless person who is penniless and whose only vice is getting quietly intoxicated, yet carries a Holy Bible everywhere, reads from it every day, and possesses the hope and belief in what the scriptures say, has a greater likelihood of peace and life everlasting than the wealthiest person in the world giving all their money away to “worthy” causes, while still living in sin.

You must have the “desire” deep in your heart to want to know, understand, and follow the example of Christ with your own life. Being a Christian is not something you do part time or just an image to portray by doing certain “things” to win “brownie points” with the holy Father from above.

No specific number of good acts or dollars will get God's attention and an open door invitation to Heaven. It's as simple as this, you must be zealous and repent and remember God has an open door to any and every human who desires to truly seek and understand Him.

Every human since the day Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, has lived and acted upon the gift of free will, granted us by God, to live lives in sin. Jesus Christ sacrificed himself on the cross to make it possible for all of mankind's sins, as a result of our free will, to be washed away; however, it also takes this free will for every human to choose to accept the Lord's gift of Grace. He stands at the door of your heart knocking. All you have to do is listen for the knock and the loving voice asking to enter. If you open the door and allow the Lord to come in to eat at your table, He will remain with you as long as you remain a willing host(ess). He will show you how to conquer your fears, find true joy in your life, no matter what your status or age.

Confess your sins, now, invite Christ into your life (open the door to your heart) as your personal Savior, and live your life listening to the wisdom the Holy Spirit speaks to you to guide your daily life. You will NEVER be alone. If you do this, and never ask the Spirit to leave your heart, you will have an open door to everlasting life on earth and in Heaven.