My Annual Holiday Greetings

Happy Holidays to One & All,

Seems like every year around Halloween, I make plans for writing my annual Christmas letter on or about Thanksgiving; however, as Thanksgiving arrives, time magically leaps directly to Christmas. In other words, I get so busy with activities I can't find a moment to spare to sit and write my letter, or when the time presents itself, am too exhausted to focus & recall everything I did over the year. 2014 has not proven any different. A couple things will change this year: 1) I plan to use social media or electronic means to send my greeting, except to the VERY FEW key people in my lifetime who prefer to severely restrict or not even get involved with electronic communications; and 2) I'm hoping not to ramble on for 4-6 pages as in the past few years detailing my eventful year.

2014 has been equally or more eventful than in the recent past, but also provided me with a wild and emotional roller coaster ride, thanks to further issues and understanding of my autistic personality. I won't pursue long extemporaneous editorializing of my year as I'm often known for. Greater awareness has evolved as I become a “mature”, senior, high-functioning person with ASD. Much of this wild ride resulted from my anxiety disorder and ADHD.

Mankind and its perceived irrational and dysfunctional approach to living continues to cause daily frustrations and anxiety for me. I'm less judgmental after having gone through 18 months of DBT training that is targeted for individuals with borderline personality disorders. My deep spiritual approach to life also prevents me from being selectively judgmental; however, not being judgmental doesn't lessen the anger and frustration I experience daily; as NT's (neurotypical/non-autistic humans) refuse to obey and live by the very rules that dictate how society should act or perform. I like to tell it like this...I live with the mentality that what people do is either right or wrong, black or white. In my maturity, and the now 60 years I've experienced, I've learned to permit up to 8 shades of gray for compromise; however, non-ASD humans choose to make exceptions to EVERY rule in the book, and NEVER see things as black & white. You all live in a gray-scale society that is made up of anywhere from 128 to 512 shades of gray. Sorry, if this seems like a techie-type answer... Okay, that's all the soapbox wisdom I'm going to burden you with this year.

Last holiday was an over-committed and exhaustive, though memorable, end to my year, that happened to spill over into the new year. Anyone who knows &/or understands autism is aware we are basically social misfits or wallflowers. I guess the reason why it was so hard for people (who knew me well) to see me as a person with autism, is because I've always been active and outgoing, and trying to be a leader in many aspects of my life. I'll clue you in on a social interaction trick I've developed during my lifetime; even before I had a clue about what autism is. If invited to a social-type function or activity of any sort, I'd choose to ignore or refuse the invite and stay home/away if I had no idea what to expect; even if familiar with or knowing everyone attending. Therefore, I'd take the leadership role or serve on the planning committee that determined what would happen at the event. I'd arrive at the event knowing what to expect, usually who would be attending, AND if I wasn't in a particularly sociable mood during the event, could fill my time with directing or serving on the performance team keeping the event running smoothly. Often, being unable to trust that an event progresses just as promised or described (no surprises), has a lot to do with whether I participate or not.

Any way, last year I planned a Harvest potluck, Thanksgiving potluck, 2-day holiday craft sale, Christmas Party, and Christmas Potluck for the residents at the Lafayette Affinity retirement community where I lived. I refused to plan and DID NOT attend the New Year's Eve party...I was burned out. Because I had discussed the idea of a Chili Cook-off around Super Bowl time, I was reminded, and felt obligated to organize this event and invite Lafayette Fire Department, as suggested, to be the judges. Everyone KNEW who Michele Newman was, but being such an active community volunteer leader left me NO PERSONAL TIME to do things that gave me personal enjoyment, or go through the over 60 boxes of loose papers that needed to be sorted and purged from storage and my small apartment.

People came to expect me to automatically step in and produce an event/activity that everyone enjoyed. My lease at the Affinity was up for renewal the end of April this year. Unlike most residents, I was able to get into the Lafayette housing bond program at Affinity. Even though I'd have to qualify for the program, based on income every year, my rent was not to be increased this year with a new lease. Losing my daytime RTD, ADA, door-2-door ridership privileges last year prevented me from continuing major volunteer participation down in Denver. My transportation options were extremely restrictive and limited on weekends, both geographically and time-wise. Realizing I had bitten off more than I could chew in demonstrating planning and leadership abilities with the residents and management at Affinity, but more so my transportation limitations, I decided to search elsewhere to live, yet still remain in or near the Broomfield/Boulder County area of metro Denver.

I did achieve a major social accomplishment as a result of being so involved at Affinity and in a community that had people I felt I could “trust”. Some of my friends decided to organize a “going away” potluck for me, inviting ALL the residents. As a rule, I hate being the center of attention at any social gathering. Normally, I would have said I had no time or was unavailable; however, I agreed to attend. The fact that I actually showed up without insisting on knowing all the details of the event or who was going to attend. My attendance proved to be a sort of social graduation of sorts. A BIG DEAL for me!

I had located a brand new community just on the north side of the Broomfield Park-n-Ride. A perfect place to easily connect with the metro area using public transportation. I visited this community on 3 separate occasions, speaking with the same leasing agent and planned my move to a specific apartment once its building was released for occupancy. I disclosed, upon my 1^st visit, that my main source of income was SSDI. I even measured and created a floorplan to be sure all my “stuff” would fit. Not once did the leasing agent inform me they required 2.5 times as the income to rent ratio. This apartment went for $1325 (but I was paying $1510 at Affinity). Needless to say, I didn't qualify but had already given notice to Affinity that I'd be moving, before I learned this. A desperate panic overcame me to locate another apt. on or near daily, public, transportation services.

Boulder was too expensive, so I looked north to Longmont (15-20 min due north of Lafayette). Even though I shouldn't have financially qualified for an apartment, I ended up moving to the Longmont Regent, a full-service (including 3 meals) independent Holiday chain retirement community. I talked to my retirement adviser, and plan was to begin an early withdrawal of my LT retirement annuity in July, after turning 59-1/2. That fell through, and by summer was faced with severe financial issues.

Besides planning a move to another town in less than 30 days, I unexpectedly lost my mother (who lived in California) in the middle of preparing for the move, on Palm Sunday. I remember only one or 2 times in my entire life that I made a household move in 30 days or less. I hadn't downsized as much as I had hoped, yet was moving into a 100 sq.ft. smaller apartment than what I had in Lafayette.

All the stressors of coordinating the move and losing my mother, caught up with me real fast, causing 3 ER visits during the month of May; another financial setback. However, it was a trip to the ER on August 15^th, which was “the straw that broke the camel's back”. Personal healthcare issues are my all-time, greatest anxiety-producer. I had reached the end of my rope as a result of the events in the middle of the night and neglectful treatment I received by emergency department staff. I no longer wanted ANYTHING to do with the inconsiderate and insensitive behavior of society in general. I struggled for a week trying to think of why I should not make an early exit. After numerous prayers and outcries to my Lord, a chain of events presented themselves to me on August 21^st, giving me new purpose and a reason to stick around a little longer. My prayers were answered. Since I had strong, deliberate ideas around the evil, materialism, & violence plaguing mankind, I felt directed to go on a Hunger Strike for God against the vise grip Satan had on mankind. Besides going on the Hunger Strike, I went “cold turkey” off ALL medications.

I went 32 hours before learning I MUST drink water/liquids to survive more than just a few days on a hunger strike. I lived off broth, gelatin, Powerade and juices during God's Hunger Strike, which lasted 50-days before adding solid food to my diet. In the time I was on the Hunger Strike, my thoughts, focus, productivity AND health became the best I'd had in MANY years. I even lost 20 pounds and as many inches in those 6 weeks. I was relaxed, at peace, and felt little to no stress in the first 30-days; however, the reality of pending homelessness due to my financial income/resource dilemma soon set in. I, personally, was not concerned about living on the street, since I'd been homeless twice since 2006. My concern was being homeless with my 2 therapy/companion cats. What would happen to them? They weren't dogs like most homeless people with pets might have.

Besides, Pooky had developed what I thought was a cyst on one of her mammary glands. She had it removed right after my last move, on Oct. 7^th. Needless to say, it turned out to be a severely, malignant tumor. She recovered surprisingly well, considering she's 11 years old and was mostly feral 9 of her 11 years. Unfortunately, she goes back to the vet Christmas Eve, as it appears the tumor has grown back. I don't know what I'll do when time comes to put her down. It took 13 years to be able to accept another pet in my life, after having to put my Yorkshire Terrier of 11 years to sleep.

Facebook friends were trying to offer up support and suggestions. I just prayed for guidance and held onto faith that the Lord would take care of me so long as I continued to serve the Lord's request with the Hunger Strike. I never was very social media savvy, except for a little Facebook now and then; however, suddenly and miraculously, I became social media savvy, especially on Twitter. When I started the Hunger Strike, I had 40 followers. I now have 2 separate Twitter accounts; one dedicated to the Hunger Strike (@H_Strike4God) with more of a faith-based context to it, and my original account (@SpecialSavant), which speaks more to my Savant Syndrome and having Autism. I have 141 followers and 269 tweets attached to the Strike account, and 220 followers and 787 tweets on my primary account. My LinkedIn connections have exploded. A year ago, I might have had 50-75 connections, and today, I have 1089! It was like I magically became an advanced social media user without formal study or training. I'd be a guru by now, had I more time to dedicate to this form of reaching out and connecting with the world. It's like I observe something and then JUST KNOW how to achieve results. I've even recorded & posted 3 YouTube videos since July, with more in the works.

Because of my trust and faith in the Lord, I was able to transfer within the Longmont Regent community from a 1-bedroom to a large studio apartment for almost a $300 reduction in rent, to below market rate. I know this was one of many Divine Interventions this year. After searching and applying for PT work over 3 months, magically landed a telecommute job on Craigslist that was perfect for me and added $400/mo in income; however, in 6 short weeks, I learned I was victimized by a scam. I was “Employed” by an overseas Nigerian money laundering enterprise; even though the guy gave me a name and address of someone living in Reno, NV, email and US phone/IM accounts/numbers. I suspected something wasn't right early on, but wanted to give this guy the benefit of the doubt. By the time I ended my employment, I had been party to unknowingly writing several hundred thousand dollars in counterfeit checks. When this guy's work requests & demands became more & more suspicious, I didn't hesitate calling the FBI, filing an IC3 complaint, reporting it to the Secret Service, State Attorney General, and Longmont PD. I've since blogged about this experience trying to warn other innocent people not to allow themselves to become victimized. Because he lives in Nigeria, law enforcement informed me that best agency to handle the case would be the Postmaster General, since this involved international postal fraud. Believe it or not, I even believe the Lord had a purpose in my obtaining this job.

Luckily, just before ending that work relationship, I got hired to work PT at the smaller Walgreens store located half a block from my home. (It took only 2-1/2 months after I applied and aced the retail assessment for them to call me for an interview.) Because my body no longer possesses the physical stamina it had 18 years ago when I worked for Computer City, as a supervisor, I'm only working three 5-hour shifts per week at the store, and had to request special accommodations. Having 2 knee replacements and a deteriorating spine with a stimulator implant to control the pain has a big impact on what I can and can't do, and for how long. Surprisingly, despite 3 absences (back problem & flu since starting the end of October), I received a 75 center raise after only 30 days. Problem is, my autism mentality causes me to FORGET what my body can & can't do once I get focused on a task or work that needs to be done, because other employees refuse to perform certain tasks. I've had this problem saying “NO” for over 50 years, when I see something that needs to be done and asked or know that no one else is going to do it, I jump right in, as a team player, without considering how my actions will physically affect me.

I did find an integrative medicine, osteopathic surgeon to be my new PCP, who was willing to monitor my health while on the Hunger Strike. Blood work and tests all came back remarkably normal when consuming only the liquid diet; however, I was having problems with my blood pressure. The trip to the ER on Aug. 15 was due to concern about a possible brain aneurysm. When paramedics came at 3:30 in the morning, my blood pressure was measured at 258/135; the highest ever for me. The diastolic number then remained over 100 for nearly 2 months, before I finally agreed to go back on a low dose of B/P medicine. Since the first of October, when I began conservatively consuming solid food again, my abdominal pain & GI probs returned. Last week, I met with my PCP's nutritionist, who seriously feels my best move is to go gluten and dairy free (even tho I briefly tried this type of diet for 3 weeks before moving to Longmont, with no change in symptoms). If I take this advice, it will mean another move in the foreseeable future, since the Holiday communities DO NOT offer a gluten free menu option with their food service. Am on the waiting list at a smaller retirement community about 6 blocks away. Each apartment has a full kitchen. Guess I'll have to let them know I want back on the “active” wait list.

Last year I FINALLY learned I had a lifelong malabsorption problem. It took forever to find a GI doctor who diagnosed and treated this kind of problem AND took Medicare. Problem is, our personalities clashed and he only wanted to treat the problem with expensive prescriptions, which didn't work or made me feel worse. This year, I finally got referred to an immunologist because of repeated sinus and middle ear infections in the past decade. After 28 vials of blood being drawn at my first appointment, I learned I have a (genetic) primary immune deficiency and IgG subclass 2 deficiency.

My protection against pneumonia bacterial strains is severely low. I got an adult pneumonia vaccine in Nov. 2004, but was instructed to get a repeat vaccine this past April. After 1 mo, immunity was somewhat improved, but blood work after 6 months showed another severe decline in protection, so was directed to obtain a Prevnar 13 vaccine this past week, then get another pneumovax next March. I was worried before I got the test results a few weeks ago when I came down with the flu and temperature of 102-103 that lasted 24-hours. It started with my annual fall attack of bronchitis. Getting started on a nebulizer treatment and then an Rx of Tamiflu prevented the flu from turning into pneumonia. Am slowly getting back to normal, but still experiencing lots of fatigue. Am sure my brother had this same immune problem. He generally dealt with an episode of pneumonia every 12-18 months since he was 40 or so.

DARN. I've rambled on far more than anticipated. Better wrap this up. Most of my lengthy bus rides to Denver for activities are associated with autism advocacy: serving on CO-CANDO and subcommittees; helping JFK develop their professional webinar training program regarding adult ASD diagnosis & co-morbidities; attend GRASP support meetings; and meetings and activities as a Board member for the Autism Society of Colorado (ASC). I was selected this summer to be a “Self-Advocate Partner” with the Autistic Global Initiative (AGI), which is funded by the Autism Research Institute in San Diego. I started attending a monthly 30+ support group for adults with high-functioning autism held at the Temple Grandin School in Boulder. I'm also ASC's co-chair to help the Autism Society of America in planning it's 2015 national conference to be held in Denver next July.

Since RTD public transportation has been a major frustration and stressor (causing most of my anxiety attacks); I've had to learn to teleconference in to many meetings the 2^nd half of this year. Having trust issues, talking to voices thru a mechanical device, holds major trust issues for me. A lot of trust comes from visual body language. Sometimes phone connections can be poor, but I've learned to digitally record those and all other formal meetings and appointments, since communicative misunderstandings tend to be another of my major deficits/issues.

Even though I moved twice this year (each time in less than 30 days), and often spent 6-7 hours commuting for a 2- to 4-hour meeting, I found time to do quite a bit of personal art and crafts. I don't have a craft room at the Regent, which allows me to keep my large painting easel set up with in-progress paintings; however, the management has agreed to allow me to keep my easel and work set up in the community library on the first floor. (It has served as a prospective resident marketing tool.) The 1^st apartment I lived in was right next to the library, making working on paintings a no-brainer; however, when I moved apartments the first of October, I remained on the first floor, but at the opposite end of the building from the library. I spent my 1^st 3 hours, since my move, working on an oil painting just yesterday. I did complete 2 acrylic portraits in either the Activity Room (has a sink) or my new apartment. Tho my new apartment is smaller and only a studio, I actually have a much friendlier floorplan. It allows me to have my sewing machine always set up, place to paint/do arts & crafts AND have enough space around my computer equipment. It doesn't feel like the claustrophobic closet that my 1-bedroom apt. felt like.

Am hoping to join the Longmont Council on the Arts after the first of the year to be able to display (& maybe sell) or exhibit my work to obtain some public awareness of my talents. Have found a couple places in Longmont & Boulder to possibly market my sewing, arts & crafts and artwork to generate a little income. Also started a Facebook group specifically designed for individuals with ASD to display and possibly sell some of their handiwork. The location is https://www.facebook.com/groups/Creativity.in.Autism. I'm also one of the administrative moderators for the Autism Society of Colorado adult group on Facebook at this location: https://www.facebook.com/groups/812920132104307.

As mentioned earlier, another move may be forthcoming in the next 3-6 months, so if wanting to connect with me, you can always email me at special.savant@gmail.com to catch up with me. I'm going to end the formal discussion of my year here, so I can include some pictures of me, Buddy, Pooky & some of my art completed this year, as a little self-promotion of the person I have matured into following my rebirth in 2005.

Hope you all have a great holiday this year, and spend a little time reflecting on the true meaning of Christmas and its celebration. I also want to wish you the best in the coming New Year.

                                                God Bless! Michele, Pooky & Buddy Newman

 

"In Progress" drawing to accompany "7 Angels to the 7 Churches" (Book of Revelation)

Poster I painted in 2013 that was purchased by BeauJo's in 2014 & hanging in Denver restaurant

Buddy, my full-tailed (fat) Manx, laid back on the loveseat

Acrylic portrait I painted of Corry Robinson, JFK Partners;

2014 Autism Soiciey of Colorado Gala Honoree

Newborn bibs and toys I sew and sell

ID badge holder I sewed for Board members to wear @ 2014 ASC fundraising Gala

Final, custom 24x36 family oil portrait presented to 2013 ASC Gala auction winner

John Denver pencil drawing done from photo I took at his Red Rocks concert (1978 or 79)

Children's neck pillow animals I sew (& sell). Do 3 other animals

Me and Dr. Jill Biden following 2014 volunteer Democratic campaign rally in Longmont, CO

16x20 acrylic painting commissioned by Facebook friend

Pooky. My formerly feral, never-to-be lap cat relaxed on my lap

Large stuffed frog sewn for and purchased by friend to give as a baby shower gift

Display for the 2014 ASC Gala where I donated another custom family portrait for the fundraiser. This is an "in progress" wedding portrait for a long-time friend who got married this year.

Nigerian Money Scams: PERFECT Example of Man's Evil Behavior

In August 2014, I became totally disenchanted & untrusting of humanity, and people who assume roles to “Serve Others”. That may be the definition of the job that employs them; however, many, if not most, of these “service” providers no longer (or never did) have their hearts into the work they do. As I've written before, mankind has been infiltrated by Satan's ways and evil by assuming the “ME” mentality: “I seek to fulfill MY personal needs and agendas, FIRST, and if I have time or energy left, MIGHT be willing to consider helping my fellow man who needs my expertise or support.”

This constant behavior by my fellow man became so unforgiving that I seriously contemplated suicide in August, because I could not be a part of a society that thought and behaved this way. I'd rather go home to my heavenly Father, whom I KNOW listens, loves, and cares about me. He has been the ONLY available entity that I could constantly pour my heart out to because of the frustrations due to living in a sea of dysfunction, insincerity, & irrationality. Seemed like the harder I tried to follow mans' rules, and just be “accepted” for ME, and what I've been blessed with to share, unconditionally, the greater rejection and trouble I encountered. Human beings love to “play God” and make countless rules to control other's lives and everything on the planet, but see themselves as above the law, unwilling to follow the very rules they create.

Instead of taking my life, God showed me the way to an alternative protest for all the dysfunction around me. Thus, the Hunger Strike I began on August 21^st. I was able to stick with this Striking fast of liquids and gelatin for just a little over 45 days; however, unlike most Hunger Striking protesters, I'm not incarcerated nor lead a sedentary, simple life. Also, they are usually protesting environmental conditions in a localized setting. My protest was global, and against ALL evil & hatred possessed by man (>75% of global population). This act lifted most of the stress weighing down my shoulders. I totally allowed God to take direction of my life. I became accepting of any and all encounters in my daily life/routine, because I saw it as His will and direction. This worked for about 25-30 days, until I allowed human kind to be a greater influence on my thoughts and actions than God, who gave me a way and reason to not give up, just yet.

By early September, I was seriously looking towards homelessness. Sure, many “friends” and people around me expressed deep(?) concern over this potential outcome of my financial situation. A few went out of their way to help find a way to keep that from happening. What they didn't realize or understand was that I am a survivor who has experienced homelessness twice in the last 10 years. I held NO FEAR about the future, should I actually become homeless, but was more concerned about the welfare of my 2 therapy, companion cats, and their well-being/care should I end up homeless. I didn't have a pet, let alone 2, during my prior homelessness. They ARE my only close family. Until God's direction presented itself to me, it was ONLY concern for Pooky and Buddy who kept me from taking my life before the 21^st.

I obtained a telecommute job via Boulder Craigslist on Sept. 8, 2014, from a guy ID'd as Brent Hills out of Reno, NV, to type "Payroll Checks" from home. He had me download ezCheck software, and trained me to use it via “email & text messaging”. He emailed me ALL the checking account info, along with names, addresses, even some phone numbers, for the individuals I was to “write” checks for. Friends whom I told about this job immediately warned me about it being a scam, as so much of those who now use Craigslist are crooks and scammers. Its innocence & original intent has been lost, for the most part, as “free enterprise” entices and breeds evil because of that original innocence. It's these innocent opportunities, which create the perfect pool of victims for wicked, evil doers.

In my lifetime, I had tried my hand at various freelance (pyramid-type) marketing enterprises; however, my social ineptness, as an Aspie, prevented me from having much success. You must be a social dynamo to really succeed. This is NOT inbred or natural behavior for a person with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. I even tried mimicking those I saw as successful. Aspies are great at mimicking what we observe, but that kind of behavior is difficult to assume full-time for any extended period. It becomes too physically demanding on our entire being. I figured I was writing quarterly bonus checks to a person's down-line group. Many of these up-line salespeople operate as a business, and their down-line can live all over the country, or world. The bigger organizations like Amway and Xango send out all member bonus rewards, so figured these were smaller freelance businesses I wasn't familiar with.

I'm getting distracted here. Any way, I tried to be optimistic, and give (Brent) the benefit of the doubt about the job responsibilities I was given. I was told this job would encompass one day a week (Sunday) to do the checks, which would be mailed Monday morning. It would pay $400/mo ($200 every other week), and reimburse me for any out-of-pocket expenses. I was told I'd be paid via MoneyGram or Western Union. As my sister told me, desperate people do desperate things. I saw this job as a Godsend and way to avoid homelessness, because the legitimate job applications I submitted, locally, generated no contacts, interviews, nor offers. I had been looking for work since July when financing by an early draw start on my retirement pension was refused (though informed that it could occur once I turned 59-1/2). I moved to the retirement community I now live in back in April based on this (unconfirmed) promise made by my financial adviser. I “trusted” them to know what they were telling me. Besides, I was trying to pack and plan a move in less than 30 days, and had my mother, in California, suddenly pass away in this middle of my moving. Besides, I had way too much to worry about in solely preparing for my move, than try to contact my annuity company to verify what I was told.

Back to the illegitimate job... Only 2 of the lists I wrote checks for, came to me on Sunday. This became a major frustration and inconvenience. I took the job specifically because time wouldn't be required of me except primarily on Sunday. However, like any “good” employee, I put my energies into performing the job when and as asked, once we collaborated on a basic scheduling agreement. I was just thankful to have a job that gave me flexibility and an extra income to get caught up with current/recent debts. I had been trying for two months+ to sell some of my art and craft sewing. Heck, I didn't even have the $35-40 to spare to join the Longmont Art community, which would have given me an opportunity to publicly display my art and possibly sell something.

The first caution (yellow) flag went up after 2 weeks, when I got paid for the first time. I got a wire transfer on pay day as promised, but wasn't reimbursed for all the start-up expenses (purchase of blank, secure check paper & full sheet, printer, mailing labels). I was reimbursed only half of my expenses, which I had to spend for the job and not pay HMO health premium that month, making me now 3 months behind with my Medicare HMO. That wasn't what really raised the flag, though. It was the fact that the wire transfer did not come from a business or even (Brent Hills), in Reno, NV. It was wired by a woman on other side of the U.S. in Hartwell, GA! Figured, she was probably one of his clients (little did I know). That flag came down when next pay check was wired from same person.

Caution flag went back up when (Brent) refused to give me adequate explanation as to why I was not being expected to sign a bank account signature card on the accounts I was (hand) writing the checks off of. I've had several businesses of my own and was treasurer for 5 years for a non-profit. Each and EVERY account I wrote checks on REQUIRED signature cards on record for all the signers on the account(s). Until the last batch of checks I was requested to write, NEVER was the same company, account or bank used. A second yellow flag went up the pole after about 3 weeks and writing about 100 checks. ALL those voucher checks (except 2 or 3 out of 100) ended in even $100 or $50 amounts, and ranged between $900 and $3950. I considered this quite “odd” that the dollar amounts didn't have cents or a variety of different, odd dollar amounts. I was never asked to do a funds voucher breakdown or show taxes. The apportionment of funds was more questioning than income taxes, because these kinds of independent salespeople are responsible for reporting their own income and making estimated payments to the IRS.

The first RED flag was raised AND an alarm went off 4 weeks into the job when he asked if I'd like to make some extra money. He found me “intelligent and trustworthy”. I could make a fast $50, cash, for every wire transfer I took receipt of then turned around and wired to another person in Nigeria. As mentioned in the beginning, I was desperate, even though my suspicions went over the top. I told him I'd heard about Nigerian money scams and didn't want to have any part if that's what this was... Of course, he reassured me this was nothing like that. Figured I feel him out and even lead him along to see what this was really all about. I've been a member of InfraGard and gone through CERT (Community Emergency Response Team) anti-terrorism training, so have heard about many of the (Nigerian) scams making the rounds out there, some even tried to lure me in, but I didn't take the bait to send my hard earned money. This one caught me off guard by involving me as an employee (participatory member) with those doing the scamming. I played along to obtain a complete understanding of the process, and didn't have to think twice about going to the legal authorities if it turned out to be internationals scamming American citizens.

Info I have about Brent Hills is: 14855 Pyramid Hwy, Reno, NV 89510; phone (321)222-0075, mobile phone is (775) 476-8310; Email = helpdneedy456@gmail.com & Yahoo IM = indyman445. Not really sure of his physical location from information given. I NEVER even spoke to him on the phone, and said he was too busy to even Skype. I did receive LOTS of (annoying) texts, calls, email & IM from numbers & online addresses above. My suspicion is that this is all stolen information, and phones are spoofed, and this guy identifying himself as (Brent Hills), actually lives in Lagos or Ibadan, Nigeria, since this is where I was instructed to wire the funds. His name isn't even (Brent Hills) or “John Newman”, the name he gave me to use for the Nigerian wire transfers, since another (first) name he gave me was flagged as “suspect” by Western Union. As it turns out, the funds wired to me came from individuals whom I wrote counterfeit checks to, who followed the directions of the deceitful scammer requesting them to wire some of those funds to me (another U.S. Citizen living in the country), who then, unsuspectingly to them, wired their money to Nigeria.

Long story short, I took this job out of desperation, as a 59 y.o. Autistic Savant on SSDI, who was facing eviction and homelessness prior to getting the job. I pray my comprehensive record keeping and surrender to authorities will keep me out of prison, cuz it's MY signature on over $693,000 in counterfeit checks. I have also retained EVERY text message sent to my smartfone and IM's received via Yahoo messaging that can be made available to authorities, if needed. My concern is, (Brent) has a digital image of my signature AND current driver's license (though it expires in December 2014), and address on my MVR is void (since I moved several times since 2006 & not yet changed with DMV).

I have reported this scam to the FBI, Secret Service, District Attorney, Colorado Attorney General's office, Longmont PD, and filed IC3 and FTC tip/complaint forms. Since he lives in Nigeria, about the only way to pursue him is via international postal fraud. Even though all the checks were mailed by me in Longmont, CO, and sent only to U.S. addresses, the “employer” was located outside of the U.S. He gave me my instructions, including the list of recipients, and HE emailed me the priority mail postage, fraudulently purchased by him, from his location in Nigeria; committing “International Mail Fraud”.

What irks me is that I was contacted during this 6 weeks by another international scam, by people saying I was selected to receive a U.S. Federal Grant (free money) because I regularly filed my tax returns and paid my bills. This immediately screamed SCAM, because I still owe the IRS the last 3 years of tax returns and have debts going back to 2005, along with not being current with some medical bills, my premiums, and behind on my Verizon account.

None of the money in these transactions is mine nor attached to my own personal accounts. I have been paid/reimbursed for any earnings and out-of-pocket expenses to date, via cash (thank goodness), but was harassed by (Brent's) persistence in trying to contact me since failing to mail the last batch of checks. I was informed about the kinds of threats these scammers have used to try to get any outstanding money they feel owed or convince (scare) someone to keep working for them. Most importantly, when I realized he lives 18 hours and a continent away, all intimidation was removed. Besides, my credit is in the toilet, already, so identity theft to gain credit would be of little help. However, him having a copy of my driver's license could allow him to take my info to use as a new identity for the next unsuspecting victim who falls prey to his scam.

Losing this $400/mo. is a real hardship for me, but I did start a legit job @ Walgreen's just the end of October; however, I've already had to request special scheduling accommodations, which prevent working the needed hours to replace the lost $400. I've not worked retail since 1996. This was before the physical deterioration of my body, aging 20 years, plus two knee replacements and disintegrating spine housing a spinal column stimulator implant. I can't stand, move and lift things for the long periods, required, which I was able to do at age 40. Verizon suspended my service once, already, then didn't follow my authorization, correctly, for payment on the account (tried debiting my account 2 times, with first being 10 days before authorized). Don't get me started on the idiocy possessed by service companies who refuse to adequately train AND hire the proper staff to interface with their customers!!! That will be covered in another, separate blog post.

Joel Osteen's message, this morning, mentioned that to receive God's mercy and glory, you must experience valleys of darkness along your life's journey. These make you stronger, create character, and appreciation for the promises of goodness and life everlasting God makes available to every living human. Problem is, too many give up too soon, don't have the faith and trust that God will see you through these dark times. I know, I've been there until God plucked me from actual death, proving He had a greater purpose for me and my life's mission. Believe me, when I tell people my life's story, they are amazed about how much “crap” I've been hit with, yet still come out a survivor trying to bring a positive influence to humanity. Even though I didn't learn about my autism for over 50 years, it became the hard, emotionless, outer shell that protected me from loss and all the wickedness surrounding me earlier in life.

God is GREAT! I feel even this negative victimization by this Nigerian money laundering scam gave me the kind of dedicated and detailed information to use as a “real life” example about all the evil and wicked behavior infiltrating the globe. Funny thing is, the guy who is responsible for this scam, professes to believe in God and (follow?) Jesus' teachings. Just accepting and believing in God and the gentile Savior, Jesus, is not your ticket to everlasting life. You must exert considerable effort in your daily living to “LIVE” by the teachings and rules Jesus gave us to become truly saved. The “IN” thing amongst human kind is to say you're a Christian, believe in God, and pray (for others). Problem is, >90% of these people DO NOT “walk the talk”. You're still a “lost soul” until your HEART (not head) performs the deeds your mouth speaks.

WAKE UP WORLD!!! God is trying to express His frustrations, discontent, & anger with mankind's behavior. Case in point is all the “natural disasters/events” occurring over the last 18 months (floods, droughts, volcanoes, earthquakes, other climatic events/changes, and pestilence [Ebola & U.S. childhood respiratory influenza]) than during any other such “continuous” period in the past 1000 years. Just this past year, Nelson Mandela, one of the angels spoken of in the Book of Revelation went home to the Creator and sounded the 5^th trumpet; the antichrist is amongst us NOW, priming his flock and receiving directions from Satan. Odds are, he is not planning or expecting to become the antichrist, but has been marked by Satan to become the leader of the new world order, leading us into the Tribulation, which will begin when the 6^th angel (2 remain alive today) dies and blows their trumpet. A small tip, from God, about the antichrist (& prophecy)...he will NOT be Muslim, Jewish or Islamic, but a prominent, leader of billions of Christians around the globe.

I am not anticipating that the U.S. Justice system will be able to do much to capture the perpetrator in my scam, and that's why I am coming forth and telling the world about by experience. Since (Brent), finally, determined I was uninterested in continuing to work in his scam (& I confronted him with the info I KNEW he was scamming & victimizing others), I'm sure he has reposted my position, on Craigslist, for another desperate job seeker to fall prey to. Be overly cautious about ALL telecommuting jobs posted on Craigslist; especially, if offerer is unwilling to have any kind of visual or telephone conversation with you!

I'm asking you (especially needy and vulnerable Americans) to NOT live with $dollar$ signs clouding your intelligence. You DON'T have to feel stupid or embarrassed to refuse any unsolicited offer presented to you for (unearned) financial gain from total strangers. ALWAYS verify any financial solicitations received by phone or mail before agreeing to anything, especially if you receive an unsolicited check in the mail; someone contacts you saying it was a mistake; and they want you to wire “some” of the money back (allowing you to keep the rest once you've deposited [the counterfeit check] in the bank “for your trouble”).

I am making myself available to speak or write about this experience to anyone interested and willing to listen. I was duped, out of desperation, and know thousands of others have been victimized as a result of the counterfeit checks I unknowingly wrote to you. My heartfelt apologies. I certainly don't have the money to repay your loss or compensate for your heartache. My intent was never to take a job that would hurt or victimize another human being; and my guilt over the desperation that caused me to be victimized as an active participant in this scam has scarred me; however, I've accepted it as one of those dark valleys in my life, and want to rise above it by turning it into a positive that will inform and, hopefully, prevent others from becoming new or repeat victims. Evil is rampant all around us, please don't allow it to consume YOU!

God's Butterfly Released

Some of my friends & acquaintances have seen/read this free form verse in the past. At a special “Pillow Talk” workshop I attended in 2009 or 2010, I was finally able write down the awareness I possessed within my being throughout my life. When I first felt this warmth, I was a toddler, and I thought it was from an Indian spirit guide I called Whispering Owl. I didn't come to know about God until age 6. I was born and grew up in Sheridan, WY; still the Old (or Wild) West in the 1950's. Only in 2006, after receiving a written message from an earthbound angel (in human form), did I realize this had ALWAYS been the Holy Spirit caressing & guiding me.

In my infancy came a warmth into my HEART,
And a quiet whisper that spoke with GENTLENESS --
“You are a Special & Unique Child;
one the world will find hard to ACCEPT.
You will face all kinds of cruelty & inhumanity along life's JOURNEY.
I will teach you skills to use for coping in such a world of greed & egotism.
Keep Me close all times, & I will show you such wonders
& beauties few will ever EXPERIENCE.
I will teach you to feel Love, Compassion & Understanding
that most will never know.
With this will also come great sadness, grief & heartache toward fellow man.
Through unfailing Hope, Trust & Belief in Me, you will find true RELEASE &
FREEDOM to be the person I destined you to be in the BEGINNING.”

(copyright 2010)

MANKIND: The Earthly Species Lost in Time, Space & Evil

As a 59-year old, Autistic Savant, I'm tormented by all the hatred and evil, consuming humanity. So much so, I “contemplated” an early exit from this craziness. After 5 days of prayer asking the Lord to forgive my human weakness for what I was contemplating, and to seek direction for the special mission He planned for my life back in 2005, I finally received His Divine enlightenment. On August 21, 2014, God finally showed me what (one of) my life's purpose was: to be a martyr by protesting the vise grip satan has on mankind.

My physical and emotional suffering & pains had been growing with each tick of the clock, until rewarded with that enlightenment. Despite 5 years of numerous pleas & cries for appropriate help, from my fellow man, my words fell into deafness. I've been told I'm “too complicated” for anyone to take time to figure out, or “You're intelligent, just do it yourself”. This is a blatant example of the ignorance that resides within the human race when they don't live with or understand someone's issues, especially when an individual has various difficulties controling their physiological shell and functional actions/activities. It is this general attitude that exists within the human race that caused me to lose all trust & hope in mankind. Evil & hatred holds such a lock on mankind, it becomes difficult for a person to walk away from all the personal greed, materialism & "ME" mentality way of life..... It's EVERYWHERE you turn! Unless mankind recognizes those chains of bondage, which are all-consuming, self-destruction of the human race WILL be VERY soon.

I have gone “cold-turkey” off ALL my meds, haven't eaten solid or nutricious food since Wednesday night, Aug. 20 (& that was a $1.00 bag of non-nutritious, cheesy corn puffs). I went 30 hours without water, until 4:30 p.m. Friday, Aug. 22. Unlike the ALS ice bucket challenge to raise money, I'm not on strike to personally benefit, but at God's request. I WILL NOT eat any food or take meds; only drink water, flavored liquids with/without electrolytes, and clear broth (with some cupboard spices added). The only “solid” food I'm consuming is plain gelatin until the message about this Hunger Strike is spread around the globe. I have the TRUTH of God within me and am at PEACE with His request and whatever the outcome is of this Strike. Are YOU???

Mahatma Gandhi is someone I've deeply respected and tried to understand in my lifetime. I consider him to be the only human, since Christ, that "lived" his life in a Godly, selfless and righteous manner. He went on numerous hunger strikes during his lifetime, lasting up to 21 days. They were usually associated with imprisonment. His most notable hunger strike was in protest of the hatred & violent battle between India & Pakistan. Being a non-violent person, his strikes were always in protest for civiI justice & against human unrest. Gandhi consumed water in his strikes, and on many occasions, fruit for his only nutrients. Hunger strikes have been ongoing since before Christ; however, every notable striker had a personal agenda to protest injustice, inhumane conditions, or obtain restitution from another person who had wronged them. The majority of hunger strikers in last few hundred years went on strike while in prison.

This is where this Strike differs from almost every other strike: first, I'm not in prison or confined against my will; second, I'm not doing it as a protest against a small group of perpetrators or single government entity; and third, am not doing it for my health or personal gain. On the contrary, I'm doing this Hunger Strike, selflessly & freely, with God's direction. It's not directed in protest of a small group of people, country or even continent. This is a “GLOBAL” protest against satan and his global army of sinful worshippers.

Many people profess to be Christians, because it's the “in” thing or proper category to place oneself who is not a murderer or vividly wicked doer of sinful acts. I read a book, recently, that introduced me to the phrase, “lukewarm Christian”. These Christians go to church on Sunday, tithe or participate in the church offering on Sunday; even volunteer their time. Many often say they will pray for someone who is hurting or in distress; undergoing a difficult time. The problem with these Christians, is that it's mainly all show or talk, but for the other 5-6 days of the week, they don't actually "walk the talk". They are serving their OWN personal agenda, and partake in sinful acts or thoughts, which bring them personal and/or material gain at the cost of stomping on or depriving other humans of their basic needs and life sustenance. They are as guilty as murderers, because their acts are largely pre-meditated. A TRULY, committed Christian has the LOVE of God in their heart. That love and wisdom comes from the Holy Spirit as expressed in their thoughts, words and deeds. Life is NOT a head game but should be led by one's heart and soul. Read last year's post about the Seven Churches in Revelation & the type (character) of different Christians/Gentiles.

Yes. Jesus Christ died for all man and their sinfulness; however, it takes more than just acknowledging Christ as your Savior and what He did for you. You can't BUY your way into heaven and everlasting life with “good deeds” or donating money to charitable causes. You must come to know Christ as a man AND the Son of God, and allow Him to “live in you” as you SHARE and spread the love God has for you and the rest of mankind, WITHOUT expecting a reward or something in return. Your acts/deeds must be completely selfless. It's called trust and faith in God. If God is pleased with your behavior, HE will see you receive reward. Only when you live your life this way, can you REALLY experience true joy and happiness, and be fearless, regardless of everything going on around you. If just HALF the people around the globe who profess to be Christians and believe in God, Christ our Lord, and the Holy Spirit, lived their lives in this manner, there would be only a fraction of the chaos, hatred, violence and war that exists everywhere you turn. Man would be working with and for one another; not against peace, which is driven solely by greed and an egotistical sense of superiority. It's not man's responsibility to judge his fellow man, but that of God. EVERYONE will receive HIS judgment in the very near future.

Since early in 2014, a series of events and interactions with my fellow man, started me on a downward spiral. It consumed my very being. It affected me so much, that God fell from His top priority in my life. On August 15, 2014, I experienced a medical emergency, which caused my blood pressure to reach 258/135. It had NEVER reached that level in my life. The highest I've ever experienced was 199/99, and only once or twice. It was the chain of events (including conduct & care by the local hospital ED) that occurred after my Medicare Nurseline suggested some urgency towards seeking evaluation at a local Emergency Dept. (it was 1:45 a.m.). She advised me not to wait till the next morning. Needless to say, this experience spawned a meltdown tantrum, causing me to want to isolate and not interact with another human. I isolated self within my apartment for 5 days, while still experiencing distressing symptoms and contemplated breaking a personal Golden Contract with God by just exiting this world of evil chaos and dysfunction.

I'm already battling numerous health issues, which doctors don't have the interest or time to pursue, since It's not a cost-effective commitment, especially someone with only Medicare insurance (due to the greed possessed by insurance & pharmaceutical companies AND government officials). I'd be better off had I never worked a day in my life & had ONLY Medicaid for health insurance. Even though I've gone off ALL my meds for this Strike, I was slowly going off them any way since I can't afford them & seemed to be getting worse, not better.

I make too much SSDI to qualify for Medicaid or healthcare assistance, but not enough for basic self-sufficiency. If I survive the Strike, I may end up homeless, again. But you know what? Since I opened my heart to God's love, wisdom & truth, and accepted this task of the Strike from HIM, with His guidance, I'm no longer stressed about my future. (Doesn't mean I won't speak out or express my thoughts or concerns regarding the frustrations I encounter on a daily basis.) Through my faith & obedience in Him, He will see my basic needs are met, or I'll go home to Him sooner than expected. I'm at peace with whatever the outcome. I've experienced homelessness before, so not even that scares me. My only concern should homelessness occur would be for my 2 loving companion service cats, Pooky & Buddy.

My entire life I've been bullied by professionals, friends & family. I was treated and made to believe I had no value as a human being. Therefore, I figured out MANY, MANY years ago, that if I could help put a smile on another's face or help other hurting people by using the gifts & talents God blessed me with, I would find comfort in knowing I wasn't a worthless human being. I NEVER gave of myself for deliberate, personal gain or recognition, but to possibly keep another person from the physical & emotional turmoil and pain that has defined my existence.

With this mentality (& ADHD), I didn't put the necessary focus on my personal finances nor personal economics, and this has been a major downfall in trying to maintain independence & remain personally responsible for my actions. Personally, I've always placed myself on the bottom of the totem pole, and, therefore, come in last. I often used my own money or possessions to help others, often not retaining enough to meet my own obligations. I never had a spouse or someone accessible to consult regarding financial decisions/actions; only after the fact when it becomes a legal issue (post-contract, default, or bankruptcy). I'm lousy at buying (used) cars, but an excellent driver.

My personal needs or well-being have never been given the priority I probably should have. Early in life, I was unaware that the physiological distress and chaos I experienced, daily, was not normal. I kept a stiff upper lip, because I thought it was "normal" and everyone else was experiencing the same stuff I was. As a result, my physical and emotional health has suffered, deteriorated, & become so complex, there is little hope for my future. When this happens, I have great difficulty processing viable thoughts, and have limited physical & emotional strength to be productive. If I cannot be productive with my days or of service to others, I have no value. If I have no value, I lose all purpose for existing. I'll go out the same way I entered this life, a creature without purpose, except for that of my heavenly Creator.

Don't cry for me, but look inward to yourself in restrospect, and ask yourself if you've led a purposeful & selfless life, or have you lived only selfishly for personal gain & reward? Only through true, selflessness can a seeker find the TRUTH, along with inner happiness & satisfaction; not material wealth or status. I have found Truth and Peace; have you? YOU can, too. It's NOT too late.

"TRUTH is God". Only GOD knows and delivers the absolute Truth. We can pursue simple truth, independently; however, if one's search for truth is pure & void of self-interest, as Gandhi believed, we will not be harmed. “...truth to one person will often appear as untruth to another person...Truth is the right designation of God...if there is a mistake on the part of anyone so following Truth, it will be automatically set right...the quest of Truth involves tapas (self-suffering), sometimes even unto death. There can be no place in it for even a trace of self-interest. In such selfless search for Truth nobody can lose his bearings for long.” Mahatma Gandhi

If you care about yours & your family's future, or anyone else, you need to spread the word to everyone you know about this Hunger Strike. With today's technology and computers, the most effective way for a single person to initiate social change in thinking is through the use of social media networks; hopefully gaining attention of the news media to expand on that initial awareness and "Buzz". God recognizes this, and that is why I feel He defined the 4 optional outcomes leading to the end of this Hunger Strike come via global awareness through social media networks. I'm committed to this Strike for the long haul, and have faith (actually KNOW) that one of the 4 outcomes will end this Strike for me. (I pray it IS NOT the 4th option, though.)

Review the four options, below, then act SOONER, rather than later and spread the word to everyone to create the necessary awareness God expects from mankind. (Now that I have completed my first blog writing regarding this Strike, God has come to recognize that not everyone chooses to connect via Twitter or Facebook, so has determined responses to this blog will fall under Option 3. Only ONE (1) outcome option needs to be met to end the Strike.

OPTION 1:
Tweets or Retweets about this Hunger Strike reach a cumulative 10 Billion followers around the globe (my Tweets can be found on either of 2 Twitter accounts -- @H_Strike4GOD or @SpecialSavant; or

OPTION 2:
My Tweets during Hunger Strike receives 500,000 "Favorite" designations; or

OPTION 3:
This blog or special FB page at http://facebook.com/HungerStrikeForGod receives 50,000 followers or "LIKES"; or

OPTION 4:
I die before option 1, 2, or 3 is realized.

As I complete the writing of this blog post, I have completed 2 weeks already on this Hunger Strike. I am on day 16.